fivekids3dogs's Xanga

Halloween and two birthdays

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:40:51 GMT

Halloween was fun albeit short, my kids are lacking in stamina. It was fun anyway. Yesterday was Ben's 10th birthday and today is Riley's 4th birthday, so I am crazy busy. Hopefully I'll have pictures to post tomorrow. Elliot will be one next Saturday, I still can't believe it's been a year.

I'm trying to figure out where to go with my life. I want LV in it, I still hold hope that he will work through whatever it is that is bringing him down and making him a completely different person. I don't like my life on hold while he's figuring it out. He doesn't talk to me about his plans, or what he feels so it's hard to even know where to begin to try to plan for my future, the kids future. I have been looking for jobs a little, all over the country. I have been a SAHM since I was in my third trimester with Lauren 6 years ago, so I don't even begin to think anyone will call me for an interview, but I am going to send out a couple resumes and see what happens.

Elliot is biting me right now with his 6 teeth. Then smiling.

Sad mama

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:35:01 GMT

My little baby, who is 2 weeks away from turning 1, has weaned himself. I keep offering, but he has better things to do with his time. He wants steak, big chunks of food, a big cup of juice, he wants to crawl and stand and throw balls and play with the big kids. Nursing is for babies. I never thought he'd wean so early.

Random photo that cracks me up, and one other

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:13:20 GMT

Hungry baby!

A few pics from the Keys

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:42:42 GMT

Snorkeling at Sombrero Lighthouse. I wish I was there right now!

I'll have to upload more later. Time to pick up the kids from school. I wish we lived in the Keys!

Car update

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 23:28:30 GMT

I bought an old Mazda minivan this afternoon. I am no longer carless. It isn't pretty, but it runs and has nice cold a/c. No more sweaty mama and baby.

Hello? Anyone still there?

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 17:02:42 GMT

The super fun divorce fall out is still going on here. I had to rent a house, my car was reposessed since it was still his car technically so now I have no car and no one wants to lend money to a mama who gets child support and has no actual "JOB". I am going to look at a van later today. Hopefully that will turn into something.

Otherwise everything is fine. Kids are healthy and seem happy. I think my breastfeeding days are coming to an end. Elliot likes to bite me and it really hurts and damages the skin. I'm not sure how I feel about that. He's not old enough to go on cows milk, but I don't want to give him formula. He's almost 11 months. Any thoughts?

I'm trying to decide what to do with my life and what is best for my kids. I haven't come up with anything yet. If there were no other factors, like the dads here in Florida, it would be much easier. We could go wherever we wanted.

No real news. I just wanted to let you know I'm okay, hanging in there. I'll try to update more often.

In Indiana

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:28:42 GMT

LV and I have split finally. I lost my rental due to the foreclosure, so I am homeless and at my mom's to regroup and save a little money. I feel like I'm walking slow motion in a dream, and I will wake up and we will be back in our big house in North Carolina, happy, swinging in our swing in the back yard. I hate this, I hate that he turned out to be just another guy, not my partner, my love. No different than all the other men in my past who have turned out to be disappointments. I feel really bad for Elliot. He will never know any happiness as a family with him, and know him differently and not as well as the other kids. He'll never remember us living together, never know that he once said he loved me and openly showed that. I'm not sure Riley will remember either, maybe not Lauren. They are so young. Lauren doesn't understand and keeps asking when he's coming. It is unfathomable to her that he is not with us and won't be. I sure hope this is worth it to him. I hope he's happy in his silent, clean, orderly house, being a bachelor again.

If you want more Florida...

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:31:01 GMT

Go read one of my very favorite blogs www.pureflorida.blogspot.com

Wonderful writing, great pictures.

Florida Friday

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:20:13 GMT

We have been out and about a lot lately and I have enough to share for a Florida Friday.

This is Little Manatee River State Park. On a whim we rented canoes. After the initial freak-out by all 3 girls, it was super fun. Little Elliot and Lauren were my first mates. The big boys had a canoe of their own.

The very next day we went to Honeymoon Island. The area of beach we walked was rocky, but there were many cool shells to find and we saw two pods of dolphins. It was beautiful, but cold.
Honeymoon Island with cool sky. Big boys in this shot.

This incredible little park is in the city, only 15 minutes away from Riley's preschool, so we hit it Tuesday after picking her up. It's Cypress Point park, and it has a canoe launch, picnic tables a couple shelters and a small stretch of beach. The horseshoe crabs were mating and were everywhere. So cool. The rock-like bumps in the surf line are the crabs.

Shout - out to my Arizona girl Jackie for handing down the cute suit on Riley. Thank you Jackie!

Next week is our spring break and hopefully it is late enough that all the vacationers returned north so we can enjoy the beach. My mother is also coming for the second half of break and the week after and we always try to get her out to see different stuff so there should be more Florida on the blog horizon.

Things are okay at home. I still don't know what is going on with the living arrangements. I don't think he wants to move out although I could be wrong. He's keeping his feelings about it locked up tight. I'm trying to be understanding and it is hard, but makes us still being together happier than if we were fighting.

I'm okay

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:30:40 GMT

I'm trying to function like everything is fine. I went to IKEA in Orlando yesterday. I had Elliot in the Bjorn, so it felt like I had climbed a mountain by the time I left and got him out of there. He's getting big and heavy.

All the monkeys at Hillsborough River State Park a few weeks ago. Curtis got all of his hair cut off and now looks a lot less like Shaggy.

I don't know why I like this picture so much. It's Curtis holding Riley on his shoulders with Ben following. We were walking from the parking lot to the gates at the state fair. I guess because my kids look so big and healthy. Curtis looks like a man there, not a 14 year old.